How can you spot a time waster and what can you do about it? Read below for 4 key signals that the sub or Dom who has asked to book you is getting ready to waste your time.
First, why would a sub or Dom want to waste your time? I’ll be direct here and to the point. In the context of BDSM power is always at play. Power is at play in the instances where your client flakes, disappears or re-appears, follows every instruction up until hitting, “send,” on their deposit or refuses to answer your questions about when, where and how they would like to book you. In the case of a time waster, you are dealing with someone who is afraid of losing their power by committing to your time.
What this is showing you is that they feel entitled to their time-and not yours. Enough said? Here are 4 key signs you can look out for:
1) They don’t answer your questions when you ask them to provide you details on their booking.
When this happens, it is showing you how the potential client listens. Do they pay attention to detail? Is it important to them to value what you are saying and consider your words?
2) They disappear, then re-appear-with another excuse, or another request to book a session-without ever following through.
When this happens, you can cross This client off of your list. They have demonstrated to you that they enjoy getting a response from you-because it validates their ego-but that they don’t respect you enough to value your time or your energy.
3) You feel tired, sapped and drained, or irritated after communicating with this person. You have a bad feeling or a negative feeling about interacting with them.
This is your energetic body telling you that you need to honor your boundaries. When you ignore this feeling, you find that you begin to experience a cycle of contact-communication-frustration and repeat. The cycle continues until you decide it is not worth continuing to sustain anymore.
4) They always have an excuse.
This is a flag that you do not want to ignore. A list of excuses means a list of areas where an individual does not want to take personal accountability. Instead, they will project the things they refuse to take accountability for, such as their schedule, finance and commitments, onto you. While it is important to make equitable accommodations for your client, it is also important for you to know when someone is refusing to take personal accountability for their situation. This can be gaged by talking more with your client about the things that are hindering them from completing their goals and by assessing your ability to navigate these goals with them. In this situation, you must ask yourself; is this worth my time, energy and attention? Or could I be booking more clients who respect, value and honor my time as well as the ways in which they choose to communicate with me? You must also assess whether or not you feel that your client is serious about committing to the goals they have described to you.
These 4 keys are only 4 ways out of many to spot a time waster, but they are the most common ones that I have come across when working with clients. Now that you have read these, what are some ways that you have found that work for you to deal with time wasters? Can a time waster be effectively dealt with?