Goddess Evanescence

Communication speaks volumes. It is easy for us to fall into the same patterns of communication and ways of doing things that we always have, because it works for us. When you first meet someone in the kink community on your journey, one of the first questions asked the most is, "How long have you been in the scene?" In our meritorious society, we tend to view someone who has been in a position for longer as one who has the right experience and who will, due to the nature of their experience, intuitively know how to connect with you. However, society is constantly changing and in flux. A meritocracy only speaks to the amount of time one has been in a position, not to the amount of time they have spent refreshing their skills, what their awareness of and resistance to change looks like (cultural, societal and communal), or the inner work they are doing to maintain an open perspective towards the people they work with that addresses their conscious or unconscious biases, beliefs and deep seated fears. For this reason, if you are an experienced player in the kink community, you may feel very comfortable doing things the way they have always been done. Seeing a new provider for a session allows you to expand in areas that you may not be aware of that need refreshing. You, as an experienced player, are constantly learning, growing and evolving. There is always something you can learn and taking the time to experience that growth with a BDSM professional of a different age, ability or background from you can serve to help you expand your consciousness, deepen your levels of intimacy, acknowledge your blindspots & deep seated fears. It will also challenge your concept of a meritocracy, where having more time, access and resources in a position defines your credibility. The questions for you to ponder are, are you doing your inner work, confronting your shadows, stepping out of your comfort zone and letting go of your ego? Seeing a newer provider can improve your game. At the end of the day, we all want a better scene.